To be a cop meant you would experience humanity at a level of skinned-alive intensity.
-Edward Conlon

A year and a half ago I joined the Cobb County Police Department as a new recruit. Six months later I happily joined nearly 600 others as a sworn Cobb County Police Officer serving the 600,000 plus citizens of the county. One year later, I write this journal entry. Though my time with the department has been short in comparison to others, I feel as though I’ve obtained a world of knowledge. And there is still so much more for me to learn.

I started going back to Kennesaw State University this semester. Though I’m only taking one class at the moment, I plan on taking more next semester. I needed to test the waters of college while working a full time job before diving in. Hopefully there will be some online classes I can take next semester. I’m taking a Criminal Investigations class this semester. The professor is a former Cobb officer, and refers to me during class if he is unable to answer a question. The class hasn’t been eye opening by any means, but I chose it for that reason.

It’s amazing how quickly a job can become a way of life. As I drive down the road, I’m constantly glancing at license plates to check if they’re valid; I watch traffic to see if I can find any moving violations (and usually point them out to Michelle, which annoys her); and I’m always having dreams about work. Lately, the dreams have really started to annoy me. I used to sleep well, but since the cop dreams started, I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep. Hopefully they’ll pass and I can get back to sleeping well. They say, “once a cop, always a cop,” but I just don’t see myself doing this my entire life. Police officers have one of the highest divorce rates, and a suprisingly high suicide rate. We see a lot of bad things. People don’t call 911 because they are happy and want to share their happiness with us. They call 911 because they have no other options left. Their life has gotten to a point where they cannot go at it alone.

I responded to a domestic dispute between husband and wife earlier this week. The 16 year old son called, hysterical. Upon arrival, I found that the husband was gone. The mother, 16 year old son, and 12 year old son were all in tears. I found out that the mother and father had been in an argument, when the father picked up a phone and threw it, hitting her in the back of the head. She explained to me that while her husband was serving with the Army in Iraq, he was struck by lightning. (Of all of the things that could happen, he was struck by lightning!) Since coming home, he’s suffered from bi-polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, psychosis, and heart-problems…

Like I said, they don’t call when their lives are going well.